b e l i e v e :+
by dreamer8
Summary: A sweet, angsty Junato fic ^_^. Jun thinks about her obsession with Matt, and is pleasantly surprised :). My marshmallows are ready for flamers.


**+: believe :+**

Disclaimer: I don't own Yamato, Jun, or Digimon

_Cause when you're with me… _

_I'm free…I'm careless, _

_I believe…_

- Creed, _My Sacrifice_

[ Jun's POV…]

I love the rain. Out here, I can have some quiet time by myself, and I can think. I can cry, without anybody noticing the tears on my face. The rain covers it all. 

I don't understand how people can be so cheerful. I was like that once. Happy, carefree. Everything in the world was just waiting for me. Or at least I thought. I remember the day I first saw him. Blonde, blue-eyed, cool, and downright mysterious. Just thinking about him gave me the shivers. I threw myself after him. Worshipping the very ground he walked on. I was so blind. I was such a fool.

The rain slides down my face, mingling with my tears. I taste them on my lips, salty, bittersweet. I loved him. 

Love. It's a powerful word. I don't think that I really loved him, not really. I never even got to know him. He would always brush me aside, leave me hanging. All I fell for was the appearance, the shell. I wonder. Was he really worth pining over?

I bury my head in the arms, my short hair falling over my face. Stupid bangs. I wish….I wish I could get over him. 

[ Matt's POV…]

The rain enveloped me, falling in thick sheets, hiding me. Protecting me. I couldn't face the world right now; my thoughts and feelings whirled together like a storm. I stuck my hands in my pockets, and blew my hair away from my face. Droplets of water clung to my sweater; my umbrella held high above my head. Standing still for a moment, I could faintly make out the shape of a figure hunched over in the middle of the park. Whoever it was, they must be crazy to be out here alone, and without an umbrella.

I walked slowly towards the person, my mind lost amongst thousands of memories playing in my head. _Rain. _There was one memory that stood out about this very park. 

"Matt! Matt!" the young girl ran laughing over to the tall boy, gazing up at him adoringly. "Where were you? Here, share my umbrella, you're soaking!"

_The boy stood there, staring at her. He was, in fact, starting to get  a little frustrated at her. "Why is it any of your business, Jun? Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I want to stand in the rain? Why do you always bother me!?"_

_ The brunette looked crushed. "I…I just wanted to…I…"_

_His eyes narrowed. "Just leave me alone." He walked away, leaving her standing there, alone in the rain. _

[ Jun's POV…]

I laughed bitterly. The only thing that stopped me from committing suicide was hope. I was broken-hearted, sure, but I wasn't so far gone that I would kill myself. Some people can call it cowardly, but I think that holding on is the bravest thing to do. To let go would be cowardly, to just run away from my problems. I guess I wasn't so weak, after all. 

Blue eyes fill my mind, their intense gaze burning my soul. The day he walked into my life, he destroyed it. Without even knowing it, he brought me pain, and comfort. Just knowing he was there would soothe me, and his voice lulled away all worries. He was my life. I was obsessed, and I knew it. But I couldn't help myself.

I finger the edge of my jacket slowly, feeling the fibers under my skin. He moved away after a year, to America. Something about needing space. I suspect it had something to do with the Mimi girl he was always talking about. But I was devastated. Blinking hard to get rid of the tears, I stand up slowly and comb my fingers through my mass of drenched hair. Stupid hair. Stupid Yamato Ishida. Damn those blue eyes.

[ Matt's POV…]

As I walk closer, I realize it is Jun Motomiya. What was she doing out here in this weather? 

"Jun...?" 

She slowly turns around, her eyes wide and disbelieving. "Matt?" 

I stand here like a idiot, gaping at her. Her hair was drenched, but that straightened out her normally spiky hair, and, I grudgingly admitted to myself, she looked kind of good. Her eyes were a bit red-rimmed, but the deep maroon colour was intense. The main thing I noticed was that she kept her distance. I remember how, a few months ago, she would cling to me like crazy, refusing to let go. Like a limpet. But now, she just stands there, avoiding my eyes. She sniffled slightly and put her hands in her pockets, looking uncomfortable. 

I finally snapped out of it, and offered her my umbrella. She was getting soaked.

[Jun's POV…]

"Jun?"

I froze. That voice…it couldn't be. But, no, I would recognize it anywhere…slowly, I turned around. Standing before me, with an umbrella, was Yamato Ishida, real, and in the flesh. 

"Matt?" Two months ago, I would have squealed, and clung onto his arm like some magnet. But now, I couldn't even look at him. I knew I would lose all self-control, and start crying all over again. My heart was thudding painfully against my ribs, and I was afraid that he would hear it. I was afraid of _him_. I couldn't let him steal my heart again. Uncomfortably, I shoved my hands in my pockets.

"You're getting soaked." he stated roughly. He holds his umbrella towards me.

"…No." He looks startled. I'm a bit surprised at myself, but proud. That's it, Jun, you can do this! Maybe I'm finally getting over this..! Unwisely, I looked up into his eyes… 

and my heart stopped beating. He was looking directly at me. Stormy, beautiful blue, like the waves in the ocean. Piercing, discerning, they drove me mad. I felt crushed, knowing that he didn't love me, knowing that I would always love him.  I could barely suppress a sob. The tension sparkled like electricity between us.

Something remotely like rage rises up in me, and I find myself screaming, yelling in a hoarse voice. All my frustrations and anger pour out of me, and I am helpless to stop it.

"No. I will not accept your umbrella. I don't know you. Even if I did, I don't anymore. I loved you, but you pushed me away. And because of you, my whole, my whole stinking life is ruined. I can't stop thinking about you, I can't even go to bed without dreaming of your smile. Without dreaming that one day, you'll smile like that for ME. But I know my dream will never come true. And all I can do, is chase after an impossible dream, because, you hate me." I emphasize the last sentence.

He stands there, silent, his face impassive. My heart (or what's left of it) is slowly cracking, breaking, shattering into a million pieces. Tears find their way down my face once more, and I turn around, unable to look at  him anymore.

 In one smooth gesture, he puts his hand on my shoulder and gently turns me around. He stares at me, his eyes open and vulnerable. His mouth opens, but nothing comes out.

[ Matt's POV…]

What…what did she just say? My mouth drops open for a second, and I quickly close it. I struggle to keep my face passive as she stands there, defiant and alone. _Alone. _Jun…I really don't know what to say…_follow your heart, Matt. _And in this instance, I am suddenly more aware than I ever was before. I can feel my heart pounding like crazy in my chest, and my hands are slightly sweaty. I am…nervous? About what? My brain screams. What do you really think? Asks my heart.

Without thinking, I find my hand on her shoulder, and it turns her gently around. I stare at her face, my mind blank.

[ Jun's POV…]

I feel like dying. My heart is broken, unable to heal.  "I understand, Matt. I know you don't want to deal with weirdos like me." I manage a bitter laugh. "I mean, all I did was follow you around like a puppet. I can understand if you hate me."

I look down at the ground, twisting slightly to push his hand off my shoulder. 

His voice comes, softly and warmly. I mentally cringe at the words that are soon to come. "Jun…" he breathes. "I…I don't hate you." My head remains bowed, and I study my shoes intensely, although my heart leaps up at those words. I can feel my heart beating quickly again, and it scares me. It scares me, knowing that one person can hurt me so much, and yet, give me so much joy. "I'm sorry, Jun…" and with that, he wraps me in his arms, the umbrella forgotten, lying on the path. 

[ Matt's POV…]

She fit perfectly into my arms, and we stood there, her face against my chest, my arms around her waist. Her damp hair tickles my chin, and I look down at the top of her head. She refuses to look at me, so I tilted her head up. Her deep eyes averted my gaze, looking stubbornly over my shoulder. I chuckled softly. 

"You know, Jun, that dreams do come true…" She gasped quietly and looked at me, questioningly. 

I give her a small smile. "Because, Jun Motomiya, I think I'm falling for you… 

_[ i think im in heaven ]_

A/N: This was my first Junato. I know this is an extremely odd coupling, but, I think it could _just_ work…after all, this _is_ fanfiction, and anything can happen!


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